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I often go the extra mile, and out of my way, to encourage the children’s relationship with their father because I know it’s for their benefit.My son has just started his new soccer season, and he has his first practice earlier this week.The point I’m getting at is that my boyfriend seems to feel threatened by these interactions.He informed me today (in a calm manner) that he felt as if I was being a “family” with my ex husband and children, versus just my children.You are showing them how important they are to you, not simply by giving lip service to your love for them, but by making their emotional well-being a top priority. It’s a red flag that I would file away as a warning sign.
He needs to understand — and you need to explain to him very clearly — that your ex IS part of your extended family and always will be because you share children together.
He states that he understands birthdays, sporting events, school functions, etc., but that for some reason these “extra curricular” times between my children, their father, and me threaten him and make him feel as if there’s a “third party” (my ex) to his and my relationship…
I’ve simply been pleased that, from time to time, my ex husband and I are able to set aside our differences and be there together for our children, even if it is just for ice cream.
A side note: my boyfriend and ex have yet to meet, and I wouldn’t say that my children and boyfriend have developed one-on-one relationships as of yet, which is something I’m okay with due to my desire to move slowly with involving my children in our relationship.
It also doesn’t seem as if my boyfriend is ready, or interested, to be THAT involved in my children’s lives at this point.