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You might stay as long as it’s better than what you’ve had in the past or until you think you can do better.

Now that you understand this sociological perspective on relationships, I would recommend being careful with how you use it.

Specifically, society has rules and guidelines about how we present our decisions to potential romantic partners.

When you’re at the local bar this weekend and see a very attractive person, don’t go up to them and tell them that they exceed both your comparison level and comparison level of alternatives.

It’s fun to have somebody to do things with—you feel less lonely. Once we have become aware of these benefits and costs, how do we use them to figure out what to do? If the potential relationship is better than our previous ones were, we go for it. The idea here is that we want something better than we’ve had before. We evaluate a current or future relationship not against past relationships but against other options that we think are available to us.

They can take a ton of time and money, even when you don’t have much of either. They can produce a lot of anxiety, and there’s the always-present threat of rejection. We figure out what we have to gain from a relationship and then we compare it to what we have had in the past.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.

******************************** So, what’s the lesson here? While it might be a good idea to know why we make romantic decisions, we might want to be discreet about how we discuss them with potential or existing romantic partners.Being 100% honest about the exchange aspect of relationships, even you’re being truthful, can make you sound rather cold-hearted and calculating. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms - What are you looking for in a mate? Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it.Consider the following exchange in a personal ad on Craig’s List. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all. I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings - -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)? I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.Even saying that the benefits of hooking-up exceed the costs probably won’t work.This is where poets and songwriters come in—they provide much more useful advice on how to enact our romantic lives. Here are my questions specifically: - Where do you single rich men hang out? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way.

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